I was feeling discouraged yesterday morning because of the realization that I have been fighting fear my entire life. I was journaling about the current problems in my life that cause me to have to struggle against fear, and I remembered a poem I'd written about this very subject when I was just 16. The second stanza went like this:
I'm frightened of possibilities
A million terrible things
I'm even frightened of my fright;
Why can't my soul just sing?
I felt terribly discouraged to remember this because here I am 54 years later and these words are still pertinent to describe my daily battle against fear. I took this to the Lord and heard Him say:
You fight on a higher plain than before. If your life were a video game you would have reached upper levels. It is the enemy who is the same, not you. The battles seem familiar because his strategies against you are familiar.
I thought about the fact that every time I see a spider, my strategy is the same; I chase it down and kill it. Things have improved somewhat over the years as I have learned to take precautions against spiders. But when one of those creepy crawlies does show up, my response is still pretty much the same as it always was. This is no ill reflection on me, it is because that in this world, we will have spiders (Lord protect us!).
Each time I'm confronted with fear, I've learned to fight my way through it, crying out to the Lord, confessing my trust in Him, asking others to pray for me and with me, and reading God's Word. Fear is going to show up. The shame would be if I gave up the fight, not that I am still having to fight similar battles after all these years.
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I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16:33 NIV
