Here Am I

You are not to seek repentance, but rather, holiness. There is a difference.

The desire to be holy springs from the desire to be closer to God, to enter into His presence, and to gaze in adoration upon His face. The first, faltering steps toward Holiness almost immediately results in the humiliation of Godly sorrow, because it becomes instantly apparent that you fall short of that which is necessary to enter God’s presence. All your sins stand out in bas relief*. It becomes very clear that you need a Savior. Repentance is the willingness, born of desire for God and humble awareness of one’s own sin, to accept the Holy Blood of the Savior in order to gain God’s presence.

To seek holiness is to seek God Himself.

*Note: Bas-relief (pronounced bah-relief) refers to fine lines carved into stone. The design stands out from the background and is especially apparent when light casts shadows across the design.

Scripture: "'Woe to me!' I cried. 'I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.'


"Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, 'See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.'

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?'

"And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" (Isaiah 6:5-8).

Have You Forgotten?

Dear One. Child. Have you forgotten? How easily you forget that the Lord is your sustenance and strength.

Do not relegate the privilege of hearing His voice into a closed room, labeled, “To be opened when I am obedient.”

....but Joy Comes...

Grief recalls former grief. Similarly, happiness shades the past so that all memories seem happy. You will be happy again. Your memories will sweeten as this present grief lessens.

The Lord does not count your wounds as being small or inconsequential. Abide in Him. Know where your heart resides. The Lord is with you.

Scripture: "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me. The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O LORD, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands" (Psalm 138: 7-8).

Additional reading: Psalm 13.

re Psalm 23

Child, the Psalm does not say, “I shall fear no evil so long as I don’t do anything stupid or disobedient.”

It says, “I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me.” There are no qualifiers. The Lord is with you, period.

Now, REST!

Lost in Order to be Found

You belong to the Lord, and He loves you. Yes, there is encroaching ugliness wherever you look, but do not forget His power to beautify. You’ve heard the saying, “God is in the details,” but I want you to remember now that He is in the impression others have of your body, your home, your car: your “presentation.” He is in how they perceive you. And Child, how they perceive you is not nearly so important as you begin to believe when you are weary.

The voice in your head that dictates whether you are “good” or “bad” is not the Lord's. Look to Him for your self-concept, if you must have a self-concept at all. You are most completely yourself when you are focused upon Him, because He is most completely alive in you when you rest in Him. It’s counterintuitive. You lose yourself in Him and find yourself more uniquely you than you’ve ever been before.

Scripture: "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds" (John 12:24).

My Sins are Gone

When the Lord forgives, the sin is gone. Your tendency has been hold tight to the memory of past sin and even to magnify it in order to punish yourself. You do this out of the mistaken idea that this will prevent further sin, but the opposite is true. You place yourself under the demands of the law rather than choosing to walk in the light of God's grace.

Self-punishment is ineffective. Staying clean before the Lord does not entail self-analysis. “Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me...” (Psalm 139:23-24). This is a picture of release. Dear One, it is ever your mode of operation to attempt to take the reins of control over your own sin. You understand release in other areas of your life, but it is in the area of your own heart and yes, your own behaviors that God wants you to learn to practice release. Lay back in His arms and rest. You wear yourself out and you actually manage to weary the Almighty God with your constant thoughts of how you might improve yourself.

God understands human frailty. He sent His only Son to save you from sin born of exhaustion and fear. You feel despair because giving way to sin weakens the ability to resist further sin. It is then you must depend upon His grace. When you can’t save yourself, you need a Savior. He is your ace in the hole, your hidden blessing; your way out when no way seems possible.

Grace is not a goal that you must work hard to obtain. God's grace has covered you, His power has infilled you, His presence has sustained you, and His strength has enabled you to walk the path He's engineered for you. You ever hope to attain a standard that you have already achieved; God is with you, His grace has covered you; you may rest in Him.

Look to Your Heart

Disorganization in the form of a messy office or a cluttered bedroom does not equate with disorganization in the spiritual life. Do not judge yourself by outward signs, but by your inward commitment to obedience, praise, worship, prayer and intercession for the saints. In other words, look first to the state of your heart, and address the state of your kitchen cupboards only when the heart has been correctly aligned with Jesus. Remember that Mary was rewarded and Martha chastised. Quit condemning yourself for things over which the Lord does not chastise you. Disorganization is not a sin. Do not disengage from pure focus on Jesus in order to be more organized. Do not let go the spiritual in order to chase after outward signs of material control. The Lord's foolish children always want to attempt to control the outer environment, perpetuating the faulty belief that the outer life accurately mirrors the inward state. The desire to impress other human beings does not spring from a pure heart.